Posted by Dan Draney on June 6, 2010
Mohammed in his X-Wing
PLaplace’s post on the results of the Reason magazine “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” competition reminds me that I never submitted a drawing of my own on the subject. Due to my extreme lack of artistic talent, I’ll submit one I made on my computer.
So here you have Mohammed, May the Force Be with Him, in his X-Wing fighter. It’s a little hard to spot him there in the cockpit, so you’ll have to take my word for it that he’s inside. True Star Wars aficionados may wonder why he’s in an X-Wing rather than a TIE fighter. We can only surmise that he captured the X-Wing and is escaping from the rebels.
Posted in Islam, jokes, Mohammed cartoons | Tagged: Draw Mohammed, Star Wars | 2 Comments »
Posted by Dan Draney on March 24, 2010
It’s good to see the professional comedians finally stepping up to address the long-standing, nationwide shortage of Obama-related humor materials. We need something to cheer us up, as the President and his friends in Congress continue with his plans to demolish the productive parts of the economy. [Hat tip for these to UnklB]:
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. -Leno
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’ new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -O’Brien
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. -Leno
Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -Letterman
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! -Fallon
Q: What’s the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. -Kimmel
Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for clunkers” program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -Letterman
If you find yourself still wanting more Obama-related humor, go here and/or set the DLMSY Wayback Machine for Obama Jokes to see past releases from our Strategic Joke Reserve.
[For the record: I think the birth certificate “issue” is a non-issue, but I smiled at the joke anyway.]
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Posted by Dan Draney on November 7, 2008
On a normal day DLMSY gets 50-75 visitors, but since TheOne’s Ascension things have really been hopping. On Election Day, it spiked to 165. Yesterday, day 1 of the Age of Obama, there were 442, and today with 2 hrs to go we’re already over 300. What’s happening here?
The vast majority of the visitors are arriving from search sites and landing at our Obama Jokes page. Obviously, the nation’s comedians are in a panic, fearing for their jobs. They have just realized that in a few short weeks George W. Bush and Dick Cheney jokes will be as worthless as our retirement accounts. Sure Joe Biden provides many, rich opportunities, but we’ve already seen how quickly that source can dry up when Team Obama puts Joe under wraps.
With the shortage of Obama jokes and the soaring demand, sellers of these jokes are raising prices, leading to an investigation by the Illinois Attorney General.
There is another, more sinister possible explanation for the sudden surge in search activity. Most keywords for DLMSY hits were variations on the theme of “racist Obama jokes.” Perhaps an army of Obama supporters is compiling a master list of enemies…
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Posted by Dan Draney on October 26, 2008
This one features Rep. Jack Murtha (D-PA) and Sen. Joe Biden (D-Mars) talking to a crowd of Obama supporters in Pennsylvania. It’s just a slight exaggeration of what these turkeys actually said this week. Maybe it is time to start recording the show on the DVR so we can watch the good parts later.
Posted in general nuttiness, jokes | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Dan Draney on September 28, 2008
At least in some skits that seems to be the case:
We’re not yet convinced enough to actually watch the show again, or even invest the DVR space on it. The funny part of these, of course, is the willingness to make fun of the liberals as well as the conservatives. We’ll see if that holds up.
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Posted by Dan Draney on August 27, 2008
An anxious nation waits breathlessly for Obama-related humor. Here’s another release from the Strategic Joke Reserve to ease the shortage:
Poor John Edwards has gone from VP nominee to non-person in just a few short weeks after admitting he was lying and the National Enquirer was telling the truth. Sen. Obama, showing his Heart of Gold, expressed sympathy for Edwards. “The man has suffered enough,” said Obama, “He’s already been punished with a baby. Based on the smell of that baby, I’m calling for a Change We Can Believe in.”
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Posted by Dan Draney on August 17, 2008
There is certainly a dearth of jokes about Obama, although given the things he’s said and done there is obviously plenty of material out there. Partly this is because he and his acolytes are so humorless. They’re liable to take offense at any joke about Obama they deem to be in bad taste (i.e. any joke). It’s almost less risky to make jokes about Mohammed and rely on that famous Muslim sense of humor.
If John McCain or GWB or, Heaven forbid, Dan Quayle had dropped some of the pearls that have fallen from Obama’s lips, those words would be staples of late night comedy. So far those comedy jabs that are thrown in Obama’s general direction are mainly aimed at the fawning media cloud that surrounds him. Well, at least it’s a start.
In view of this critical shortage, we have decided to release some of the Strategic Joke Reserve to alleviate the crisis. As a longer term solution, we favor increasing the domestic production of Obama jokes rather than depending on uncertain foreign supplies from Europe and the Middle East.
Obama’s campaign has set new world speed records in its sprint from the far left to the center. He isn’t flip flopping or abandoning his principles, though. He just takes a wide stance. When he got to the center, he found himself. Turns out he was the one he was waiting for there.
Unnerved by a tough question from a 7-year old about whether or not war is ever justified, Obama struggled to come up with an answer. Finally, he allowed that he would probably have supported World War II, reluctantly. “After the Germans dropped The Bomb on Pearl Harbor, President Truman really didn’t have much choice but to declare war,” said the Senator.
As part of the “Spare Change America Can Believe In” program, the Obama campaign today announced a plan to increase the number of states to 62. According to the press release, the plan would add five additional states, “We’re going to bring in all three Canadian provinces, plus Alaska and Idahoe.”
One reason you hear so few jokes about Obama is the threat of a special, Windbag Profits Tax on profiteers who take advantage of the shortage.
Obama’s campaign is really frustrated at the persistent myths and falsehoods that continue to circulate about the candidate. For inexplicable reasons, many people continue to believe that: his middle name is Hussein: as a political gesture he refused to wear a flag pin on his lapel; he and his family went to a church with a nutty, racist pastor for 20 yrs; he thinks Middle Americans cling to their guns, religion and xenophobia; and he hangs around with unrepentant terrorists and crooked real estate developers. Please do your best to set the record straight on these points.
We wrote these jokes, so if you quote them, don’t forget to link here. If a simple Nebraska blogger can write Obama jokes in just a few minutes, just think of what dedicated, comedy professionals working full time can accomplish. Now that’s change we can believe in.
It’s funny, but it’s no joke: It seems any criticism of The One is irrefutable evidence that the critic is a racist. Just in case you’re wondering where you stand personally, a recent post in The Corner at National Review Online listed 25 signs you might be a racist. Here are the top 10:
1.If you think Obama’s the most liberal member of the senate you…may be a racist.
2.If you object to Obama raising your payroll, capital gains and estate taxes you…may be a racist.
3.If you’d prefer a president have at least some foreign policy experience you…may be a racist.
4. If you’re in favor of drilling for oil and building nuclear power plants you…may be a racist.
5. If you think “Vero Possemus” is Latin for “Massive Ego” you… may be a racist.
6. If you wonder why Obama was hanging around William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn you…may be a racist.
7. If your pastor is nothing like Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger you… may be a racist.
8.If you don’t want the majority of justices on the Supreme Court to be like Stephen Breyer you…may be a racist.
9. If you’re not impressed with Obama’s 100% NARAL rating you…may be a racist.
10. If you’re not sure whether Obama opposed or supported FISA reauthorization you…may be a racist.
To which we’ll add: If you make any jokes about any aspect of Obama’s policies, speeches, cronies, or general amorphousness, you may be a racist.
UPDATE: Added links to the original incidents inspring the jokes, since not everyone knows them yet.
Post Election Update: There are additional Obama jokes on this blog and elsewhere.
Posted in jokes, Obama, Obama jokes | 1 Comment »