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Archive for the ‘fake news’ Category

The Ghosts of Cowboys Past

Posted by Ryne McClaren on April 27, 2010

Remember how we used to be governed by a dopey cowboy who used tragedy for political gain and drive-by pandering?  All the while his sinister VP secretly ruled the planet (along with the Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up)?

I’m sure glad that we don’t have that any more.  What we have now is a government that is much more full of nuance.

National Security Adviser James Jones loves a good Jewish merchant joke, for example.

And Joe Biden plumbs the depths of head football coach Rich Rodriguez leaving West Virginia for Michigan… while eulogizing at the funeral of the tragically deceased WV coal miners.

Personally, I have a sensibility that is almost impossible to offend.  Jones’ Jew joke?  Inappropriate and disrespectful.  Trade the jokes in your spare time.  But I’m not offended, merely peeved that the man would actually think that saying something like that into a live microphone would be in good taste in any situation.

Biden’s remarks may well have captured the thoughts and personalities of the miners who lost their lives.  But really?

But if you flip either of these situations back in time three or four years, I think you’ll see what I’m getting at.

Posted in fake news | 1 Comment »

A Good Man Is Hard To Find

Posted by Ryne McClaren on March 14, 2010

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger recently found himself in a whole heap of trouble down in Milledgeville, GA.  Allegedly, mind you.

Former Milledgeville resident Flannery O’Connor would have had a field day examining our modern day culture of celebrity sports heroes, who appear to get by largely on mass quantities of booze and a steady diet of willing 20-somethings.  What passes for being a celebrity these days is far more grotesque and gothic than anything the marvelous Ms. O’Connor could have dreamed up.

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When Accused of Arousing Murderers, Do You Take It Lying Down?

Posted by Ryne McClaren on March 7, 2010

Has the “Tea Party” movement been tainted by the growth of “extremism?”  Kenneth P. Vogel over at Politico would like to sort of insinuate that it is, and may continue to be.  Someday soon we’ll all have to worry about the “Taxed Enough Already” gang going gaga and shooting up public places and people and crashing planes and blowing things up.  Or at least we will if we believe this sort of tripe.

When John Patrick Bedell, killed this week in a shoot-out with police at the Pentagon, was revealed to have left behind a rambling trail of anti-government screeds, conservative commentators reacted with another collective cringe – just as they did after the discovery of the writings of IRS suicide pilot Joe Stack.

“Don’t Believe the MSM: John Patrick Bedell, the Pentagon Shooter, was no Right-Winger,” blared the headline of a piece leading the conservative media watchdog website Big Journalism Friday afternoon.

“Tragedy Occurs. Media Rush to Blame Right-Wing,”echoed one at the heavily trafficked righty blog

Gee, Ken.  There’s something about being portrayed as fomenting murder that most people don’t like.  The tone in the piece quoted above almost suggests puzzlement at that.  So if I were writing for a website viewed by tens of thousands of people every month, and perhaps millions every year, and I wrote that the writings of Kenneth P. Vogel incited some nut to shoot up a public place, do you think he might disagree?

The media driven “debate” about whether or not John Patrick Bedell, the nutbag who started shooting at the Pentagon last week, was a “right-winger” is so #%^&ing stupid that it causes me physical pain.  Actual, serious physical pain.  My head hurts when I read this sort of thing.

It would seem that any time we see lunatics of any particular stripe painted as representative of political or social movements, any able minded commentator, pundit, or journalist would take the opportunity to slam the door shut on such absurd notions.  But I guess not.  After all, our American, unbiased, for-profit chattering class spent all of 2008 not even mentioning that Saul Alinsky was a member of the Weather Underground, a radical organization that did, in fact, plot and carry out acts of violence against our government.

See where this gets confusing?  Alinsky is not news because he may or may not have hung out with Barack Obama.  John Patrick Bedell was a registered Democrat and Joseph Stack was a communist, but they’re right wingers inspired by Glenn Beck.

I don’t watch or pay much mind to Glenn Beck, but if I did and he said to do something, I wouldn’t do it.  The same goes for any other guy on TV who writes and sells books and talks about politics.  That is because I am not crazy.  If Glenn Beck angered me enough to fly an airplane into a building with IRS offices in it, then I am totally around the bend crazy.

If I write a funny sign on a piece of paper and peacefully carry it in the street because I think our government spends too much money, I am not crazy.  If I take a couple of semi-autos to the Pentagon, then I am eat my own feces in a rubber room insane.

This concept should not be difficult.

Insinuating that people who are using a public voice to express displeasure at how the government spends their money are exciting “extremists” to commit murder is tacky, absurd, and borderline insane.  It crosses the threshold of merely carrying water in opposition to the Tea Partiers to something much more malignant and dangerous.

I don’t care about the “rise of militias.”  They’ve always been around.  I don’t care about the “rhetoric” that people like Bedell or Joseph Stack use, because their “rhetoric” is unhinged, and being bug-eyed crazy is not a partisan gig.  I also don’t care for clowns like John Avlon insinuating these sorts of things in the name of selling copies of his own book.

Conservatives are right to worry about being tainted by the growth of extremism, said John Avlon, the author of “Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America.”

“In the extreme edge of conspiracy theory politics, it is way beyond the simple left versus right – the two overlap,” said Avlon, a former speech writer for former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, both in City Hall and during Giuliani’s campaign for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination. For example, Avlon pointed to Bedell’s belief in a cover-up about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, which harkens back to an earlier strain of non-partisan conspiracy theory.

Shame on anyone — left, right, or in-between — who would engage in this nonsense other than expressly and completely condemning it.

Shame all around.

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Jim Bunning: Hero or Villain

Posted by Ryne McClaren on March 2, 2010

Well, depends on who you ask.

Jim Bunning

To a few on the right — and your humble blogger — Bunning did something in the last week that few have actually dared to do: temporarily slow the inevitable march of the Federal spending machine.  That dapper young righty (no pun intended, but still) in the picture had the Senate logjammin’ with a filibuster over a $10 billion dollar spending bill.

The angry man of the Senate was at it again.Republican Sen. Jim Bunning, a 78-year-old Hall of Fame pitcher, played hardball on Capitol Hill, single-handedly holding up a $10 billion spending bill because it would add to the deficit.

Oh, the horror.  Damn you, “angry man,” for daring to stop the most excellent bread and circuses that have come to town.  Don’t you know that the Democrats are actively engaged in spending our way out of debt?

It takes a bit of slogging to get the general gist of what Bunning was so worked up about, because by my count there are around 20 paragraphs explaining just exactly how big of an a##hole Jim Bunning is.  Words such as ornery, cantankerous, possessing an “ungovernable mouth,” his “cursing” at reporters, and giving an ABC producer the finger.  Bunning is also described as “toxic,” and in the throes of “his last hurrah.” Mention is also made that Bunning has been referred to as “mentally unstable.”  Robert Gibbs, the spit-flecked penny whistle of the Obama administration, even made mention that you can’t “negotiate with the irrational.”

Do you think the AP might be trying to lead you, the reader, just a little bit?

All of these descriptive sentences go on and on until we reach something of an explanation as to what’s happening:

He had been holding up the spending bill since Thursday, saying he objected because it requires borrowing money. Bunning proposed to pay for the extension with unspent money from last year’s big economic recovery package, but Democrats objected.

By the Senate’s rules, that single objection was enough to block the bill, at least temporarily.

The move had forced some 2,000 federal employees into unpaid furloughs, put jobless benefits in jeopardy for millions and halted more than 40 highway projects.

The absolute horror of it all.  For one week he has held all of this stuff up, and temporarily.  It’s amazing that the Republic could withstand the onslaught of a 78-year old former Major Leaguer.

It may be convenient for me, a rather milquetoast libertarian, to point out that Republicans are… y’know, supposed to be in favor of fiscal restraint and all.  But in the Roaring 2010, it might also benefit the constituents of other Republicans (I’m looking at a few in particular here) to take note of that whole fiscal restraint thing as well.

“He’s hurting the American people,” Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, said when asked Tuesday if Bunning was hurting the Republican Party.

Anyone here from Maine?  Please vote against this woman at your earliest opportunity, please.

I don’t think that Jim Bunning probably cares what anyone much says about him at this point, as surely he will not seek re-election.  The number of Senators who have blown billions or even trillions of dollars of taxpayer money on frivolity and pork are legion.  Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd were and have been retained well past their natural shelf lives, thanks to their ability to catch money with dump trucks rather than buckets, but have generally been lionized in their golden years.  Lucky for those two old-timers that they never tried to get in the way of setting up the circus tents.

Byrd was a notorious ass in his salad days, not to mention a generally despicable racist.  Ted Kennedy goes without saying.  But Jim Bunning?  He took too long in line at the ATM.

We’ll all live to spend another day, folks.  Bunning has ended his filibuster.  The spending of new money over some other money can resume apace.


My inbox today featured this gem from my dad:

For those that did know and forgot and those that have never known and never cared:  Bunning was 10-15 against the Yankees and 24-15 against the Senators. (Circa 1955-1963) And 1-0 vs Senators 2010.

Posted in capitalism, crazy leftists, fake news, MSM bias, Obama, taxes | 1 Comment »

The Great Communicator

Posted by Ryne McClaren on February 27, 2010

Tom Maguire finds the funny in James Taranto’s takedown of Jon Chait’s Obama-as-HCR summit-Cicero puff piece.


I think maybe Mr. Taranto is being a bit unfair here.  After all, on his side Chait’s Great Communicator only had the White House bully pulpit, Congressional chairman, leading academics, and NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, the NY Times, and the LA Times.  Sarah Palin had a Facebook page, Glenn Beck had a television show, and Rush Limbaugh had a radio show, so really – how could Obama hope to break through?

I’ve always been puzzled by Obama’s oratory genius.  I mean, isn’t communicating his message arguably the most important responsibility a President has?  Until something truly exceptional happens, isn’t this speaking well just part of the gig?

A healthy dose of Bush fatigue, an economy in freefall, and a general desire for “Change” with a healthy pinch of “Hope” helped to deliver Obama to the White House.  Democrats controlled the House and Senate.  A new era was upon us.

In the year since putting his hand on the Good Book and delivering his oath of office, Obama has generally forgone lots of Hopenchange and, y’know, actually governing to undertake a psychological study in vanity, arrogance, and general dementia.

Since January of 2009, we’ve heard Barack say many times that “elections matter” and that he’s the President.  It’s also Bush’s fault, the mess was inherited, Republicans cause gridlock, and so on.

But we’ve actually yet to see Obama actually deliver… well, anything that he promised you.

Health care?  We’re in “summit” mode now, with Dems likely facing a lame duck cramdown of whatever policies they can scramble together after November of 2010.  They could have owned this son-uva-gun over the summer, but decided to illustrate for the American public the exact reason why we’ve always considered them a bunch of hand wringing ninnies.

Jobs?  Jobs are the bridge that were washed out by the stream, and Joe-Joe Biden’s bridge contractor has yet to show up.  (But you can be damn sure that Obama and Biden could line you up with a bridge!)

Wall Street bonuses and golden parachutes and other wicked by-products of capitalism?  Shee-it, them dudes is still wicked rich.

Guantanamo?  Still open.  (ed. Thankfully!)

The war in Iraq?  Still on.  (ed. Thankfully.)

Iran?  Still crazy.

North Korea.  Still crazy.

Hugo Chavez?  Obama doesn’t even want to be in the same room with the man after getting his face slapped to start off his Presidency.

The era of International Kumbaya that was to follow the January swearing in?  After Barack Obama led America back to her rightful levels of respect around the world, beloved by her allies and Euros with a squishy left-of-center?  Ha-ha!  Dude hasn’t given a formal press conference for 215+ days (if you don’t count his HCR “summit,” and I don’t).

In fact, nearly every International summit has found Obama bowing to everything besides the kitchen pantry.

Until Barack Obama can convince America — publicly! — that his Administration is simply not the do nothing, graft-prone, seedy underbelly of Chicago Machine politics that we’re starting to see and believe it is, Jon Chait’s argument that he’s a Reagan-esque “Great Communicator” is enough to make me recycle some of this cup of coffee shop White Russian right through my nostrils.

Considering that we elected a junior Senator from Illinois to the Presidency despite his lack of record, I’m not terribly surprised that he’s as feeble as he is.  What surprises me is that he’s walking and talking like a lame duck nearly 400 days into his Presidency.

Every era of politics deserves a delightfully stupid deviation from reality, I suppose.  A “novelty Presidency,” if you will.  Jimmy Carter, the first year of Clinton’s first term, and so on.  So let’s grin and bear this one, and then remind ourselves to nominate substance over style next time.

Posted in fake news, general nuttiness, Obama | 2 Comments »

Future News: Election 2010 Report

Posted by Dan Draney on February 23, 2010

The morning after voters issued a historic rebuke to the Democrats, party officials struggled to comprehend the magnitude of the loss. Two years ago the Democrats appeared to have established a permanent grip on the Washington levers of power. Yesterday, every Democrat in the House lost, and the only Senate Democrats to escape the electoral tsunami were those who were not up for reelection. A party operative, speaking on condition of anonymity in order to trash his colleagues, conceded that the party’s legislative strategy might have been an error. “By ramming a series of huge, costly, unpopular measures through the Congress on party-line votes, we lost many moderate voters. When your agenda is opposed by over 80% of sentient voters, using parliamentary shenanigans to pass it makes you appear a little arrogant.”

Happier times when the TARP cookie jar was full

A chastened President Obama accepted his share of the blame while reading from his teleprompter to a group of reporters gathered in the Presidential Bunker. “We failed to communicate clearly enough to the voters how much they are going to like these programs once it’s too late to repeal them. We need to do a better job of that. I need new speech writers.” In October, President Obama held more press conferences and gave more speeches than Presidents Bush and Clinton combined in their entire terms. However, the President feels he could have done more, “I need to get out and speak directly with the press, academics, union officials, and, you know, the little people clinging to their guns and butter.” The ratings of his fourteen televised speeches during the last week of the campaign were so low that only MSNBC would only run them and only in the middle of the night.

Exit polls in several states showed Democratic candidates failing to gain even a majority of registered Democrats. It was no surprise to see Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid lose his bid for re-election, but few predicted he would come in third behind the Raving Loony Party, whose candidate was put up as a joke by some college students.

In the House, Speaker Nancy Pelosi lost her seat to Republican newcomer Pat Lapin, the first openly transgendered congressperson. The Speaker was clearly a lost cause after she broke down during a televised debate with Lapin and began screaming incoherently about “f-ing Teabaggers.” Lapin seized the moment with the quip, “Ich bin ein Teabagger.” The audience roared its approval, and the electoral rout was assured.

Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi remain committed to completing the passage of the Obama agenda this year during the lame duck session of Congress. “We have a once in a lifetime opportunity to get these programs enacted while the Democratic majority is intact,” said Reid today. These plans may be hampered by the fact that most of the defeated Congressmen appear to have gone into hiding.

Posted in fake news, jokes, Obama jokes, socialism, tea party | 3 Comments »

Massacre Foiled by Gun Free Zone

Posted by Dan Draney on April 5, 2008

Dozens of lives were saved today when a crazed gunman was turned away from an area shopping mall after seeing a “Gun Free Zone” sign at the door. Several witnesses reported seeing the man approach the mall carrying two assault rifles, bandoleers of ammunition, and a backpack. “He looked very angry, and I was sure they were in for trouble inside the store,” said Tara Hertz, who saw the incident from her car. “But when he reached the door and saw that sign, he just threw his hat at the ground, then turned around and went back to his car.”

County Attorney, Guy de Michelin, agreed, “That sign saved lives today. If the mall hadn’t had the foresight to prohibit guns on the site, there would have been a bloodbath.”

The would-be gunman sped off in a late model Prius. Police are looking for a man of average height and build, wearing camouflage clothing.

Posted in fake news, gun control | 1 Comment »

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