Don't Let Me Stop You

What the heck, you'll do what you want anyway.

Are You a Socialist?

Posted by Dan Draney on February 27, 2010

You might be a socialist if…
You think it’s “best to spread the wealth around”

You might be a socialist if…
You go to political rallies in the middle of the week
And no one misses work
Except the government workers

You might be a socialist if…
You strongly believe “The Rich” don’t pay their fair share of taxes
But you can’t define “Rich”
Or “Fair”
And you don’t know what they are paying now

You might be a socialist if…

You believe it is necessary to destroy capitalism in order to save it

Or…
If you think it’s patriotic to pay taxes
But you don’t actually pay any yourself

You might be a socialist if…
You think it’s a “giveaway” to let someone keep his/her earnings, but you think people who aren’t paying any taxes deserve a “tax cut,” too.

You might be a socialist, if you think the government owes more loyalty to those getting money from it than to those paying for it.

If you think government spending creates jobs, but…
You never consider the jobs destroyed by taxes and borrowing to raise the money, and…
Most of the permanent jobs “created or saved” by your plan seem to be in government, then you just might be a socialist.
If you call for America to return to a time of “savings and investment,” but…
You think a tax increase is “savings”
And government spending is “investment”

You might be a socialist if…
You rant about the deficit you inherited
And claim to be “cutting the deficit in half”
Without mentioning that you’re quadrupling it first

You might be a socialist if,your preferred solution for a crisis due to massive, unsustainable private debt is to permanently expand government spending as much and as fast as possible to generate massive, unsustainable government debt. Because clearly the best cure for a hangover is to drink ever more heavily and never sober up.

“You never want to let a good crisis go to waste.” Rahm Emanuel

You might be a socialist if you see a compelling need to redistribute other people’s wealth, but you never considered how wealth gets created in the first place. You’ve got that “destroying wealth” thing down, though.

You might be a socialist, if you think private decisions in the marketplace are dangerous, because people will act in their own interests. But political decisions are better because politicians and bureaucrats will… act in their own interests.

If you swear you don’t want to run the all the banks, but..
You want to control what they pay their employees
And who they lend to
And the terms of the loans
And get some for yourself, of course
Then you might be a socialist

If you don’t want to run the car companies, but…
You just want to decide who’s the CEO
And who’s on the Board of Directors
And what kind of cars to make and how many of each
And where the plants are, and the wages paid
And give “tax cuts” with car purchases
And cover the warranty
Then you just might be a socialist.

You might be a socialist, if you think borrowing your way out of debt makes perfect sense. Because doubling the size of government will stimulate the economy just like a falling boulder stimulates Wile E. Coyote.

You might be a socialist, if you think a massive, new government healthcare entitlement is going to “save” money. Because government does such a good job with… There must be something? You might be a socialist, if you have to be glued to your teleprompter at all times to avoid accidentally blurting out your true aims and opinions and scaring people. You might be a socialist, if you think penalizing success and subsidizing failure is a good way to produce anything other than less success and more failure.

You might be a socialist, if you think getting the government to spend other people’s money means you are generous, and if they don’t like it, they’re greedy.

You might be a socialist, if too much private, corporate power scares you, but you’re comforted by thoughts of a large, benevolent government that can take care of everyone. You might be a socialist, if that nasty, fat, ugly, drug-user, Nazi Rush Limbaugh really makes you puke, because he’s such a “Hater.” But you’re comforted by thoughts of a large, benevolent government that can take care of him, too

You might be a socialist, if you think bankers are evil for refusing loans to people who can’t pay them back and that bankers are evil for making loans to people who can’t pay them back. You might be a socialist, if you think US companies exploit poor countries by doing business with them and that US companies exploit Cuba by not doing business with them.

You might be a socialist, if this presidential succession tree doesn’t scare the daylights out of you: Barack Obama; Joe Biden; Nancy Pelosi; Robert Byrd; Hilary Clinton; and Timothy Geithner.

If you hate creeping socialism, but you support Essential Government Programs to Preserve The Family Farm, or Crop price “stabilization,” or ethanol fuel subsidies, then you just might be a part of the socialism problem.

If you oppose wasteful government spending, but you think that $19 million footbridge across the Missouri “created jobs,” and it was federal money, so it didn’t cost Nebraskans anything, then you just might be part of the socialism problem.

You might be part of the socialism problem, if you think all the problems we’re facing were caused by one party. Or that conservative, Constitutional principles are a problem rather than the solution. Or that political “moderation” is a virtue. Or that you can go back to sleep once the Republicans are in charge.

You might be a socialist, but it’s not too late to change course.

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