Don't Let Me Stop You

What the heck, you'll do what you want anyway.

Energy Crisis

Posted by Dan Draney on October 20, 2005

It has come to our attention that the world is facing an acute shortage of phlogiston. This critical material, involved in all cumbustion reactions, was once abundant throughout the world. Now scientists believe that worldwide phlogiston reserves are near zero. Efforts to find new phlogiston sources have so far been fruitless.

Once again the rampant consumerism of capitalism has deprived future generations of the rights to their proper shares of a global resource. We call upon the government to implement mandatory conservation guidelines. To protect the poor from phlogiston price gouging we need price controls and a new tax on the windfall profits of the phlogiston industry.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: